Previous Dilemma:
Dealing with hungry co-workers while sticking with my diet

Sticking to my Diet

I’m on a diet and prefer to keep it to myself. It’s not my coworkers’ business, and I don’t care to explain myself. I don’t want to go out to lunch because most restaurants do not have choices that fit with my type of diet. Plus, most of them don’t have nutritional information posted online to ensure I make the right choices. 

My coworkers sometimes push me to go to lunch even after I turn them down. I know I’m not the only one in this situation. How can I deal with this without revealing the details of my diet? Or do I need to suffer the embarrassment of going to the restaurant and only ordering no-calorie drinks? 

— Susie

While Susie is smart to stick to her plan, she also needs to make a lifestyle change to keep the weight off. It makes sense to avoid restaurants in the earlier stages of the diet, but does she have to give up lunches out with coworkers forever?

Tracy O’Connell, associate professor at University of Wisconsin-River Falls, puts a positive spin on the situation by pointing out that the coworkers want to spend time with the dieting employee. “I wouldn’t want to alienate them and seem disinterested in their friendship and companionship, which is good for self-affirmation (‘They like me as I am, even without the weight loss.’”) and also for smoother sailing at work and possible future networking,” O’Connell says.

Readers and experts recognize that alienation is not the way — They provide suggestions for dealing with the awkward situation without sacrificing diet goals and coworker relationships:

• Just say “No.”
• Go, but order smart.
• Ask coworkers for support.

Got another great tip for dealing with the food badgers? Join the conversation by leaving a comment. Or ask your own question. 

Just say “No.” 

You can turn down a lunch request without turning coworkers’ faces red. Ken Simpson, vice president of services with ACI Worldwide, suggests saying, “Thanks, but I have already made plans for lunch today” or “No thanks, I brought my lunch from home today.”

Another approach is to put a monetary spin on it per Melissa Kaupke’s suggestion. “A lot of people (myself included) have found that people are a lot more receptive if instead of claiming a diet, you claim that, either you are broke, or you are trying to save money for something specific and are doing this by not eating out. Many people actually stick to this and then DO buy themselves something nice with the saved money when they reach their goal weight or a milestone.”

A reader encourages people in this situation not to feel embarrassed or pressured into doing something they don’t want to do. “I’d say something like, ‘Thanks a bunch for the offer to join you, sounds like fun, but I’m trying to lose a few pounds, and eating out isn’t on my weight loss plan. Thanks anyway.’ Then walk away. You don’t owe any more of an explanation. They understand it’s not their company you don’t like.”

You might also call the restaurants in your area and ask if they have nutritional info somewhere so that you can perhaps add them to your approved restaurant list. Then when your peers ask, you’ll go if you can pick the place. Good luck!

Go, but order smart

More restaurants (some states require it) are publishing their meals’ nutrition facts on their websites or menu. Look up the nutrition info or call the restaurant before you go. Maybe you can find something that works with your plan, and you’ll be prepared to order. Deb Germana, an office manager who has to watch her sodium intake, says she often goes out to eat when asked and orders a salad with oil and vinegar, or just the coffee and fruit. “I do try to join in. Sometimes I excuse myself NOT citing my diet as the reason. It’s OK to tell them you’re on a special diet — I have.

“At first it was a little awkward, but having approached it with no sorrow for myself, they all now understand, or at least accept it. Face it cheerfully and optimistically. Then there’s no reason for them to feel sympathy — which is not a burden you want to place on them.”

What about going to a coffee shop or encouraging everyone to bring lunch? Whitnee Hawthorne, owner of Get and Stay Fit, says, “Rather than refusing your coworkers out right, say you plan to eat at your desk and then offer to meet them for coffee later in the afternoon (you can order unsweetened tea or black coffee without too much prying). If you live in an area with decent weather, suggest a park lunch. That way, everyone is forced to BYOBB (bring you own brown bag). Also, if there is at least one restaurant in the area that offers something you think you can eat, proactively invite them to lunch there.”

Whether or not you can find the nutritional information, you can always special order your food. Restaurants comply most of the time. “In many cases, the cook can prepare a dish differently to comply with dietary choices like Susie’s. She may also consider making restaurant suggestions to her coworkers, so they go to a restaurant that works better for her. There is no reason for her to be embarrassed — She only needs to tell her coworkers that she is trying to eat healthier, and maybe they will follow in her footsteps,” says Corinne Kantor, The Food Cop.

Instead of worrying about what to order, especially at a restaurant that doesn’t make nutrition information available, Kaupke encourages bringing your own lunch. “Yes, people really do this, and as long as you tip the server for your water or other services, it’s totally fine to do! Or drink water. And don’t be embarrassed by it,” Kaupke says.

Ask coworkers for support

What’s the worst thing that could happen if you let your coworkers know you’re on a diet? “It is difficult to be on a diet and get the support of your coworkers if they have no idea that you are on a diet. I suggest that you tell your coworkers that you need their support while you watch the foods you eat,” says Kathi Elster, K Squared Enterprises. “You do not need to discuss this further. Just let them know you are not rejecting them; you are only rejecting certain foods. Also, you never know; they just might support you and be more sensitive.”

Marc Tinsley, founder of Fitness for the Rest of Us, provides another way to look at the whole diet thing. “Never say diet. It brings so much negativity with it. Just tell your friends that you have simply decided to start taking better care of yourself and that you feel that eating out is unhealthy. It’s more positive, and you don’t have to give any details. If fact, they may be the ones who find it necessary to try to justify their unhealthy choices,” Tinsley says.

Hawthorne provides final food for thought, “You have every right to your privacy. The research shows that having a support group during weight loss leads to faster and more sustainable results.” So you may be surprised at the support you get from your coworkers as you make a permanent lifestyle change.

With this advice, power lunches no longer have to be about overpowering you, but empowering you instead. What other ways can you deal with the “Let’s do lunch” dilemma? Dealing with other power issues? Ask a question.

Meryl K. Evans is senior editor at InternetVIZ and the content maven behind the Connected Digest, B2B Social Media Digest and Professional Services Journal. Follow her on Twitter @merylkevans.