Previous Dilemma:
Would you like some whine with that?

— Michelle

Would you Like Some Whine with That?

Remember the famous episode of I Love Lucy when Lucy and Ethel work at the candy factory? The duo have a simple job: wrap each piece of candy as the candy comes down the conveyor belt. The manager saw they were doing well, so she sped up the assembly line. Soon, Lucy and Ethel stuffed candy in their shirts, chef’s hats and mouths.

What if Lucy and Ethel had spoken up and admitted the conveyor belt moved too fast? Maybe they would have been fired or maybe not. Doing nothing in Michelle’s situation, though, will not stop the conveyor belt full of a coworker’s grievances. The choices are to suffer in silence and drown in candy and complaints — or take action to change things using these reader suggestions:

• Try standing up.
• Be polite, but direct.
• Ask questions to solve the problem.

Got another great tip for dealing with chronic complainers? Join the conversation by leaving a comment. Or ask your own question.

Try standing up

Do you have extra chairs in your office or cubicle? Ruby Taylor encourages removing the extra chairs or putting papers in them so no one can sit down. Taylor offers another way to shorten visits. “When the person comes to you, if you are sitting, stand up [as if you are leaving to go elsewhere] and if that person doesn’t take the cue, say you are on your way to xyz and you only have five minutes to spare,” Taylor says.

Be polite, but direct

The answer could be simple. Tell the person that you have work to do. A reader discovered this after losing patience with a chronic complainer. “I would have liked to have handled it better, but I lost my patience at some point and told her that if her job/boss/career was so bad, she should just look for another job; I needed to get work done, and we could leave the complaints for lunch time. Surprisingly, it worked! At that moment, she just stared at me surprised and a little bit mad, but later on our relationship went well, and we didn’t have any more issues.”

The reader figured out that the direct approach worked well. Being “polite” can also do wonders. Pick up a few phrases like, “I have one minute, and then I need to get back to work” or “I have a phone call in two minutes and need to prepare for it.”

It’s awkward to tell someone you don’t have time for complaining, but you won’t have to get creative with your chairs.

Ask questions to solve the problem

Sometimes you can shorten the conversation by probing the coworker and turning the complaints into a simple problem-solution exercise. Sarah Gonnella believes that negative energy can easily evolve into more negatives. “What can you do to solve the issue and turn it into a positive? Each time she’s negative or complaining, say, ‘Yep, things happen for a purpose so what’s the lesson or what are you doing to fix/solve it?’ If you keep saying the same thing, she will realize you won’t allow her to just keep complaining.”

This approach forces the complainer to do something about the problem or stop complaining about it. Don’t let your office become a candy factory.

Meryl K. Evans is senior editor at InternetVIZ and the content maven behind the Connected Digest, B2B Social Media Digest and Professional Services Journal. Follow her on Twitter @merylkevans.